Day 39: “Two for the show…”

“Honestly, I just think we all have special gifts, everyone. You know, obviously, some are more noticeable than others and that’s why there’s the limelight. Everybody’s in it.” – Kelly Clarkson

Tomorrow, the Meaning of Life Tour 40 Day Wellness Challenge reaches it’s “first” conclusion. As many of you know, I am extending this challenge by 50 days. I do not want this journey to end at 40 days. I have more to achieve, and I need this blog and all of your support to guide me through this process. Asking for help has never been easy for me. For too many years, I was an army of one – dependent only on myself to navigate the hills and valleys of life. Sure, I had the support of my family and a few close friends. But I never asked for help, even when I truly needed it.

I need help. I need your support.

Tomorrow, Kelly Clarkson takes the stage at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. I have waited more months than I can count for this moment – “a moment like this”. Several years ago, I wrote a letter to Kelly Clarkson. I believe I have re-written, re-vamped, and revised the context of the letter at least once or twice yearly to reflect the changes in my life. How do you explain to your Idol how much they have impacted your life? How could she know? I never sent the letter.

Tonight, I am going to make my final revisions and put the letter out into the inbox of the Universe. All I have is love, and all I have to give is love. Have a great day, y’all. And thank you for your support, grace and kindness!

Day 37: “Three to get ready…”

“It’s amazing to impact people’s lives – it’s a cool thing to have the spotlight and be able to reassure people, to say, ‘It’s OK to be you.” – Kelly Clarkson

The majority of blog entries are written in the solitude of my living room before the sun breaks the skyline. This morning is no exception. I have my cup of organic Italian roast topped off with some coconut/almond French vanilla creamer riding shotgun. And after typing the last sentence, I realize I sound like a pretentious toolbox. On the other hand, I know how I like my coffee in the morning. Did I mention the creamer is organic and non-GMO?

In other news, I have a three day work week. I am already stressing out. The Herculean task of completing 40+ hours of work, in the sum total of a day, has fallen on my shoulders. To be fair, I created this challenge for myself by taking two PTO days for the Meaning of Life Tour on Friday.

Have I mentioned that Kelly Clarkson will be in Indianapolis on March 22nd.?

The last statement was my veiled attempt at sarcasm. It’s too early to be witty. But, I tried. And now, I will finish my pretentious cup of suburban java, devour some spinach and egg whites, and prepare for the longest, shortest week of the year. As the old adage goes: “One for the money. Two for the show. Three to get ready. And four, let’s go!”

Have a great day, y’all! And remember, don’t be an asshole!

Day 36: The Four Day Push…

“I sound the same regardless if I’m 20 pounds heavier or 20 pounds light, and I think that’s the key thing with my fans and why they continue to be loyal because I’m that type of person.” – Kelly Clarkson

Yesterday, I failed to control my food and alcohol consumption. However, I have emerged from Saint Patrick’s mischievous clutches to push forward in these last four days of the Meaning of Life Tour: 40 Day Wellness Challenge. For your consideration, I will be posting a video blog update later this evening on my progress – complete with some witty banter and an ounce (or two) of charming repartee. Enjoy! And remember, don’t be an asshole!

Day 33: One Week: Part 1

“If I can wake up everyday before I die and know that I don’t have to serve anyone food or drinks, I will be happy!” – Kelly Clarkson

The workload is piling up here at the office, so my first entry of the day will be short. After reflecting on past entries and reflecting on their content, I realized I am very much self-focused in this challenge, which is great from a “working on me” perspective. However, I need to include more content featuring the people who make my life amazing.

Tonight, I have decided to include a surprise guest on my video blog. And the best part is he or she has no idea. Stay tuned. And don’t be an asshole!

Day 24: “I’m awesome, cool.”

“Somebody can say the most negative thing, and I’m like, ‘So I’m awesome, cool.'” – Kelly Clarkson (Sunday Today)

In the beginning, I categorized this challenge under the guise of “diet & exercise”. Within a couple of days, I realized my journey was not about the exact micros count of my calorie intake for the day. And it wasn’t about a finite number of excessive minutes on the treadmill. Through my realization that this could be more, I re-billed the challenge with the title of “wellness”.

For the past three weeks or so, I have been struggling to understand my true intentions for undertaking this challenge. As part of the wellness package, I have struggled to focus my attention on the aspect of mindfulness. What is mindfulness?

According to

“Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.”

By virtue of creating this blog, reflecting on the past and sharing my thoughts on the future, I feel it is nearly impossible to be fully mindful of my situation. The majority of my posts are “past-tense” or “after the fact”. To be fair, I am not overwhelmed by what’s going on around me. In fact, I am very conscious of my environment. Am I overly reactive to what’s going on around me? How would I know?

This is where your honest, genuine feedback comes into play. Am I overly reactive to what’s going on around me? How can I improve my approach to mindfulness? As you formulate “mindful”, constructive responses to my queries, indulge in the following video clip courtesy of Sunday Today. Why does Kelly Clarkson feel “gypped”?

Day 20: The Halfway Point…

“We are who we are. Whatever size.” – Kelly Clarkson

I am struggling to get my self together. Heavy congestion and intermittent fits of coughing are plaguing my morning routine. I have decided against traveling to Anytime Fitness. A large component of this challenge is to become more self-aware. My body is screaming into my ear, “Rest!” – and so I have decided to listen.

The plan for my day is largely uneventful in nature. I will head to the office. Lease some apartments. Lather, rinse, repeat!

I want to acknowledge the significance of today – the halfway point on this leg of my journey. I have managed to commit myself to 20 days of hard work and determination for this challenge. I have blogged daily, which is by far one of the greatest accomplishments thus far. Generally, I would start a blog or journal and after a week discontinue the writing process. However, in writing this blog and sharing my life with all of you, I have been motivated to write daily.

In addition, I have attended the gym at least five days a week (roughly three and a half hours per week). I have changed my eating habits – cutting out soda and sugary juices. Though I thoroughly enjoy a warm apple fritter from Jack’s Donuts, carbohydrates are facing extinction. I am happier, healthier and I love myself more each day.

I am who I am. Whatever size (and shape)…

Day 18: Barefoot across the stage…

“People think, Oh, there’s something wrong with her. She’s putting on weight. I’m like, ‘Oh, no! I’m sorry, but that represents happiness in my emotional world'” – Kelly Clarkson

This morning, I stepped on my digital nightmare, the scale. The atmosphere in the bathroom was different somehow – less judgemental. Could this be the moment? I placed my bare feet on the cold metal strips and waited for my fate to be revealed. I had achieved my first weight loss goal – 199.0 lbs. by the end of February.

I began this challenge with the mindset of being less than 200 lbs. In fact, weight loss was the only real intention, until I realized this entire journey was about more than a number on the scale. This challenge is about me.

I set realistic expectations for reaching my goal. I tried to be steadfast in my pursuit of carrying out “the plan”. And yes, at times, I cheated on my diet. I’m not going to lie. I love food. Did I go to the gym every single day? No. However, I recognize that rest is a necessary balance to the total equation of fitness. Each day, I write in my blog for mental and emotional awareness. I reflect more. I share my accomplishments. I am more mindful of myself and my environment. I am happier and healthier.

Today, I achieved a goal. And I am very proud of myself.